With summer coming to an end, it feels like so much is just beginning. After 4 months of relentless applications with almost no feedback, finally--FINALLY--it appears I've landed an internship at an art library! It's a small step but hey, it's something.
I'm all set to be a new me: the me with in an internship in art in New York City, who can SEE now the first step to my future. And the first thing I did? Started clearing out my closet, my drawers, my desk and dresser. I hope it doesn't sound superficial, but I feel the things that surround us--our possessions and even our clothes--definitely have an impact on the way we see ourselves and our situation. So it was a therapeutic session going through the OLD--old clothes, defunct technology, unnecessary papers and other relics of a frustrating summer--and clearing myself a new space, and making some breathing room.
Not everything I found wound up in the trash bag though, and as satisfying as it is to throw away, it is also a wonderful feeling from time to time to unearth objects from your past and to physically see where you were then and where you are now. I found old pictures, books, tons of school notebooks, craft supplies (some things never change), a harmonica, computer games, ballet slippers, and notes written by my parents on the eve of my coming of age. Notes about how scary the world may seem, and how I may doubt myself, but I'm capable of so much. Which is not a bad treasure to unearth, perhaps the best--and most necessary--of them all.
That all said, I'm not quite there yet. I'm still sorting and organizing, still working on moving the junk out. And of course there will more brought in everyday: new things for a new me. This is my future, folks.