A Catalogue of Discarded Objects

Having embarked on a mission to declutter my life, I've unearthed many wonderful objects, though my room doesn't have enough space to contain them all. They've lived full, useful lives, and though the time has come to say goodbye, their stories will be maintained here.

Gap knit straw purse, c. 2008

Purpose: Carrying all necessary objects--and many unnecessary objects--to and fro, back and forth, day in and day out

Condition: Ratty

Reason for discarding: Worn to pieces; upgraded for ‘mature’ leather purse

Lime green fanny pack; ‘VICE’ reads on front, c. 2009

Purpose: Distinguishing oneself as ironic and therefore hip

Condition: Very good; appears unused

Reason for discarding: Post-college hipster days, serves very little purpose in 'real' world

Large orange corduroy shoulder bag, c. 2007

Purpose: Containing textbooks and notebooks; library companion

Condition: Very worn

Reason for discarding: Falling apart; no more library trips necessary

Fuzzy blue slippers, c. 2000

Purpose: Keeping feet warm; serving as an obstacle to casually walking around house

Condition: Fair

Reason for discarding: Unworn since 2001

Two pairs ballet pointe shoes, c. 1999-2001

Purpose: Prior to level of serious dancing, the cause of blisters and twisted ankles

Condition: Worn, but not well enough to indicate serious dancing

Reason for discarding: Level of serious dancing never achieved

Cell phone, c. 2006

Purpose: Making phone calls and sending very few, very sparsely worded text messages

Condition: Fair 
Reason for discarding: Non-functioning and seriously outdated

Lucite cube paperweight with colored beads, c. 1995

Purpose: Taking up space on desk, may have served as slightly thoughtful go-to gift

Condition: Fair

Reason for discarding: Too garish for today's tastes; no papers in need of a weight